Comparing orgasms

By RICA CRUZ

Dear Ms. Cruz,

Me and my girlfriend recently had a conversation about past experiences and best or most intense orgasms that we have had. Pareho naman kaming hindi insecure so we both feel safe talking about these things. Pero naisip din namin na if we com­pare, baka naman parang apples and oranges dahil magkaiba na­man yata ang orgasm ng babae at lalaki so hindi sila pwedeng gamitin for comparison. Ano nga po ba ang mga pagkakaiba?

Makapili

Hi sa’yo, Makapili!

Medyo mahirap na conversation ‘yang ginagawa ninyo lalo na kapag napunta sa sino ang nakaexperi­ence ng mas masarap na orgasm. Pero kung parehas naman kayong naniniwala that this does not affect your relationship then good for the both of you. It is very mature that you are able to talk about each other’s sexual experiences and satisfaction.

Palaki na nang palaki ang consen­sus na walang major biological dif­ferences sa mga orgasms ng babae at lalaki. An orgasm, for majority of people consists of a contraction ng pelvic floor muscles, release ng edorphins at mga hormones at mga fluids pero ito ay nagiiba-iba. During climax, may pag-iiba din ng breathing, init ng katawan, pang­inginig na parang kilig, o minsan ay pag-moan. Hindi ito dahil sa gender o kasarian.

While there are no biological dif­ferences sa orgasmic sensations, merong anatomical differences na nagkakaroon ng impact sa abilidad ng isang taong mag-orgasm nang mas madalas. Ang mga babae na mas malayo ang pagitan ng clitoris at ang opening ng urethra ay maaaring mas less likely to achieve orgasms through penile penetration. Meron ding mga lalaki na nakaka-achieve ng multiple or­gasms na usually thought to occur only sa kababaihan.

Naaapektohan ang ating per­ception about gender-based or­gasms dahil sa culture or gender expectations. Ang sexual identity din ay nakakaapekto kagaya ng mga lesbian women ay sinasa­bing mas nakaka-experience ng mas mataas na pleasure than straight women. Dahil daw ito sa mas naiintindihan ng both females ang mas nakaka-please sa isang babae pero walang ganitong difference between men despite their varying sexual identities.

At the end of the day, kailan­gan nating maintindihan na ang orgasms ay very subjective at in­dividual experiences. Walang easy comparison between orgasms and wala din namang formula or sure na strategy. Mukhang mas okay na mag-explore kayo and see what works. Enjoy exploring and always be safe!

With love and lust,

Rica

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If you have questions on love and sex that you want me to answer, you may message me at www.face­book.com/TheSexyMind or DM me at IG and Twitter @_ricacruz.

Biography: Rica Cruz is a Li­censed Psychologist, Marriage Counselor, and, Sex and Relation­ships Therapist. She comes out as the Resident Psychologist on Boys’ Night Out every Thursday night on Magic 89.9.